


Lost/Seen

by spacehopper



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Ambiguity, Dark, M/M, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28039866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacehopper/pseuds/spacehopper
Summary: Jon goes to Elias. But he has not lost Martin.The Eye will have them all in the end.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58
Collections: The Magnus Intermission: A Weekly Hiatus Prompt Fest





	Lost/Seen

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "(Not) all those who wander are lost."

The stone shifts under Jon’s fingers. Some distant part of him knows it shouldn’t. They’re protected here. He’s protected here, though it’s a protection that makes him blink and squint and struggle against the fog that’s settled over everything. Or maybe just over him.

Another turn, stone grating as a room is revealed, and a corridor beyond that. He doesn’t know where he’s going. Some increasingly distant part of him is screaming to turn back. But he can’t remember why anymore, and though the tug is faint he knows he’s being called. Why shouldn’t he go and see?

 _You can’t fight him,_ a memory of a voice he almost recognizes murmurs, prickling along his skin. It’s enough to give him pause, to make him lean on a wall and steal a shaky breath. Who is he supposed to fight? And why? 

_You were not made to fight._ This voice is stronger. It makes Jon shiver, makes him want to run, though he’s not sure if it’s towards it or back where he came from. Wherever that might be. 

“What am I made for?” The question is heavy on his tongue, and he gets no answer beyond another wall falling away. But that is answer enough, for behind this wall are stairs. 

He places his foot on the first step, and hesitates. Turning to see the dark corridors still open, still waiting. He can go back. And when he looks up and sees the unblinking sky, he knows that he should. But the question tingles on his lips, and before he knows he’s made a decision, he’s ascending once again.

Ascension. That’s what this is, isn’t it? Each step brings him higher, lifts the fog that was dragging him down. Replaces it with the weight of the certainty of what he’s done. Of what waits for him. 

When he entered the tunnels, the passages Georgie said no one entered, he told himself it was necessary. Martin was safe. Jon could never stay. It’s the best kind of lie, because it isn’t even a lie, not really. Except in all the ways that matter, the falsehood not in fact but in feeling. Martin is safe. Jon can’t stay. 

But that isn’t why he left. 

_You were made for greater things._

He can’t pretend he doesn’t know the voice anymore. It’s Elias—Jonah—whoever he is, it doesn’t matter. Only that he watches, his gaze hooking into Jon’s skin and bringing him up and up and up into a sky that is endless. Jon imagines if he wants, he could walk forever. After all, this is also his dream to shape. 

But to do that, he would have to want to change. To resist. To deny that he wants and doesn’t want to deny. He needs answers, and has them all, and still needs more that only Elias can give. And he will. Why would he stop Jon anymore? They both know Jon can’t fight him.

They both know he could, if he wanted it enough. 

It’s a truth that sits heavy on his shoulders. Why he had to run, why he couldn’t face Martin anymore when he asked what was next, what are we going to do, Jon? He said he didn’t know, that he needed time to think. That he couldn’t think but he couldn’t leave but he didn’t know and he’s tired, he’s so tired. 

When he’s seen Elias, maybe he’ll know. But the laughter in the back of his mind tells him that’s another lie. He doesn’t want to go back to Martin.

“That’s not true,” Jon says when the door in front of him opens, revealing the man he’s seen for hours and days and months and only just now. 

“Perhaps not. But you don’t want to go back.” Elias steps aside to let Jon through. And Jon should go back. But he’s already so far past that.

“He’ll follow me,” Jon says, as the door closes behind them. He meets Elias’s eyes with a defiance he doesn’t feel, letting his cheek rest against Elias the palm Elias has lifted to cradle his face.

“You’re probably right. But I’m willing to share.” 

The words are murmured into Jon’s lips, and before he can call Elias a liar he’s silenced by a tongue sliding along his. Hot and far too human given the man is far from that, but Jon is hardly one to judge. Maybe that’s why he gives in so easily, when Elias’s fingers grip his hair, tugging at the strands and tipping his head until its held exactly how Elias likes it. 

When he breaks the kiss, he doesn’t step back. Instead he studies Jon, and Jon studies him in turn. Noting a brightness in his eyes that he wants to trust but knows he shouldn’t. Not even now. Especially not now, after the end of all things. The world is unmade and he no longer knows what Elias truly desires. Or what he himself wants.

The last tugs at his heart, or at least the part of his chest where something that feels like a heart still beats. Maybe that’s dream logic as well, that he notices it now when he thinks he should. Maybe thinking about that is just another way to delay the inevitable. 

“He might not be. He’s, well.” Jon’s lips twist into a fond smile, one that grows when he notices the spark in Elias’s eyes. “He’s the jealous sort.”

“I’m sure I can handle Martin,” Elias says. “If he comes like you think he will.” 

“You thought that before,” Jon says. It comes out fonder than he intended, and he’s not sure if the fondness is for Martin or Elias. The former is simple, and all the more difficult for it. The latter is tangled up in thoughts he’s still not sure are his, feelings that root in his chest and sprout along his tongue. True or not, they’re deep enough to bring him here.

“Hmm. You know, I’m rather looking forward to it. If he can find his way.” 

Jon places his hands on either side of Elias’s head, and reaches into him not to fight, but to see. He feels Elias’s surprise, but he doesn’t resist. Maybe he can’t. Because the Eye does not want Martin lost. 

It will have them all in the end.


End file.
